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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I knew 'WOW' was coming! Owning The Power Of My Truth.

In my post 'Between Me And Me', I was seeking, searching. Longing for something! I could feel it! But I had no idea what it could be!!!!!

Well, here I am today! The vision and the purpose so clear! So sharp! So bright!

LOVE!

I shared my visioning, I think I shared my frustration in the next post. Something was about to be born. I had no idea! Or maybe I did!

Anyways, I get it now. My work, my life is about LOVE. The fashion, the roses, Sex and Mrs X, the longing, the heartbreak, the loneliness, has led to this.

My work is to help women fall in love. To guide us to our softness. To stand firm in our truth. To be our own Beauty.

That's it.

It has to be intimate, beautiful, breathtaking, intense, passionate, inspiring and magnificent!

I can do it no other way.

Call me a guide, a coach, a confidante, a designer, a beautifier, a love maker, an artist, a designer. I don't care anymore. My work is to lead us to love, intimacy, romance, unapologetic femininity! To find our power in the softness. This is all!

And I can't help quoting from the last part of 'Between Me And Me'. 'Your mind and body is just made perfect for love'.

I knew I was on to something that day!

And I said I wanted to come back and say WOW!

WOW!!!!!!


Saturday, September 6, 2014

Thank You Mother Body....I would Like To Say Good Bye

Mother Body

Four years ago, I did not know you.
Or did I?
Maybe

You have been my friend, my rock, my support, my comfort.
Oh yes comfort.
To me and to my son.

In the most trying times, you have allowed me to be gentle.
To put what comforts me in my mouth.
To rest, as I  have been exhausted.

A cushion for my son.
The only source of nurturing and nourishing in his first years of life.
A barrier, a wall. Keeping in the pain as I was deprived of my needs as a woman.

I thank you.
I love you.
I honor you.

It's time.
I am ready to let you go.
Goodbye Mother Body.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Confession. A Prayer. A Promise. And A Prayer.

This is going to be another one between me and me.

First, The Confession.

Today is my first day back at school. I'm terrified.
3 subjects. A full schedule.
Then there's business school that I signed up for a couple of weeks ago. I'm ready to commit to my business fully.
Then there's life. My 3 year old fireball of energy who I love with everything that I am. Spending every waking moment with him is a gift, precious gift. Also a lot of work. I wish he could give me some of his energy.
Then there's the weight. As I step up to be the best of me, I must release this weight. I just don't feel good about myself. Period.
Then there's life again. I am a wife and the keeper of our home.

I'm overwhelmed. I'm terrified.

BUT

I know how much time I spend on Facebook. Mindlessly going through the news feed. I know how much time I spend with mindless activity. Mindless eating. Mindless existing.

I confess.

The Prayer.

I know what I am capable of. I know what the best of me looks and feels like! I know I have it in me to do this! And do this brilliantly!

I have been weak and now, I desire to be strong. To take my place.

Be organized.
Schedule my time effectively.
Be brave and courageous.
Wake up early to have time with myself, my source, to exercise and begin the day on a strong note.
All elegantly.

I need Grace. I have been weak. I desire to be strong.

I promise.

To be my best.
No more excuses.
No more reasons why I didn't. Why I couldn't.
No more mindless activity.
Be fully present in all that I do.
Honor myself.
Honor my time.
Make myself proud!

My ideal.

Wake up at 5.....for starters.....to then become 4.
Yoga, Meditation, Prayer, Writing.
My anchor for my day. Grounded.
Check social media as I wait for the Prince to awaken.
When the Prince wakes up, mothering, home keeping.
As he plays, school, work, according to a schedule.
Conscious eating.
Mothering.
Conscious breaks. Chat with my soul sisters.
Mothering.
Rest when I'm tired. A nap. Recharge.
Mothering.
Back to school and to work.
Mothering.
Fully present for my love when he comes back from work.
Some school and work as father and son bond.
Social media before I go to bed. My reward.
In bed by 9.

Is this possible?

I believe it is.

And that's why, again, I say A Prayer.

Please give me strength.
Please give me wisdom.
Please awaken discipline.
Please give me grace.
Please strengthen my resolve.
Please give me MAGIC.
Please grant me favor.
Please fill me with love.

Please help me.

This or something so much greater. For the highest good of ll concerned.

And so it is.

Amen.