Thursday, December 11, 2014

Time For The World To Split Open

"What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open."
Muriel Rukeyser

Today I cried.

I didn't cry because my son fell and gashed his forehead yesterday.....which led to an entire night at the ER waiting for a 15 minute treatment.
I didn't cry because I have finals this week and I can't seem to pull myself together to do my exams.
I didn't cry because I'm exhausted.
I didn't cry because I'm lonely.

I cried because I watched a fashion show. Yes, a fashion show. A Valentino Couture show in New York celebrating the opening of a giant store on 5th Avenue.

I cried my eyes and my heart out.

Why was I crying?

Was it because of the clothes? The designs?

No. They were beautiful though. But they didn't make me cry.

I cried because I wasn't there with them. I wasn't sitting in the front row.

I cried because I wasn't one of the 'beautiful people'.

I cried because my American Dream hasn't come true.

I cried because I'm bored.

I cried because I don't like my life.

I cried because I'm not myself.

So judge me if you like.....heaven only knows.....I'm judging myself as I type.

But I just want to tell the truth.

Did the world split open? I'm going outside to look.